Forgiveness Is Counterintuitive (Our Father #4)

Forgiveness Is Counterintuitive (Our Father #4) | Dr. Larry Baucom, Dr. Troy Doucet | May 18th, 2025

In this fourth installment of the Our Father series, Dr. Larry Baucom and Dr. Troy Doucet explore the transformative power of the line from the Lord’s Prayer:
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Framed as a continuation of the prayer’s movement—from worship and submission to connection and provision—this week’s message centers on forgiveness, arguably the hardest yet most essential work of love. The conversation unfolds around four key truths:

1. Forgiveness is not excusing, overlooking, or tolerating.

Forgiveness must be understood clearly. It is not about minimizing the offense (“no big deal”), ignoring it, or simply putting up with it. These are coping strategies, not healing practices. True forgiveness confronts the pain while releasing the offender from personal vengeance.

2. Forgiveness is an important relational skill.

Forgiveness is essential to any lasting relationship. While communication is often touted as key, even the best communicators will face conflict. The ability to forgive becomes the glue that holds relationships together through hurt. However, forgiveness is difficult because our brains are wired to find pleasure in resentment and revenge. This makes forgiveness love’s hardest and most important work—crucial for our health and relationships.

3. Forgiveness displays my connection with God.

Our ability to forgive others reflects our own experience of being forgiven by God. Jesus’ words are clear: “Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.” Unforgiveness not only disrupts human relationships but also hinders our intimacy with God. The parable of the unforgiving servant illustrates the hypocrisy of accepting grace while withholding it from others. Forgiveness, then, becomes a mirror of our spiritual authenticity.

4. Forgiveness is counterintuitive.

Forgiveness for those who wrong us doesn’t come naturally; it goes against our instincts. Experts outline the process—rediscovering the offender’s humanity, renouncing revenge, and revising our feelings—but even that can feel impossible. Like trying to run a four-minute mile, we need a power beyond ourselves. That power is found in our connection with God. Only divine strength makes genuine forgiveness possible, as modeled by Jesus on the cross:
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Closing Insight:
A national poll once asked what phrase people most longed to hear. The top three were:

1. I love you.

2. You are forgiven.

3. Supper is ready.

Each phrase echoes a divine truth: God loves us, forgives us, and invites us to His table. In that spirit, we’re called to forgive—drawing not from our own strength, but from our relationship with the Father, the source of all grace.