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Love Gives us Strength to Lose What We Cannot Keep (Summer At The Movies #1)

May 31, 2026

Love Gives us Strength to Lose What We Cannot Keep (Summer At The Movies #1) | Dr. Troy Doucet | May 31, 2026

In this sermon, titled “Love Gives us Strength to Lose What We Cannot Keep,” Dr. Troy Doucet kicks off the Summer At The Movies series. Using the 1998 romantic drama City of Angels alongside the Gospel of John, Pastor Troy explores the vulnerable, risky, and sacrificial nature of true love.

The Movie: City of Angels

Dr. Doucet frames his message around the movie’s main character, Seth (played by Nicolas Cage), an angel who can only observe human life but cannot feel physical touch, taste, pain, or feel love [00:00:41]. When Seth falls in love with Maggie, a heart surgeon, he chooses to give up his eternal, safe place to become human [00:01:34]. Tragically, shortly after making this choice, Maggie dies in a car accident, forcing Seth to experience intense grief [00:02:32].

When asked if the brief moment of human love was worth the immense heartbreak, Seth famously responds that he would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss, and one touch than an eternity without it [00:04:55]. Pastor Troy utilizes this tension to anchor three profound spiritual points about how we are called to love like Jesus.

Point 1: Love Chooses Presence Over Protection

A protected life can insulate a person from pain, but it also completely cuts them off from intimacy [00:08:35]. Dr. Doucet warns against becoming “emotional angels”, people who float above life, analyze everything too deeply, and keep their hearts “safe” by refusing to commit or be vulnerable [00:10:45].

  • The Divine Example: The Gospel of Christ is the ultimate example of choosing presence over safety. God did not remain distant or detached; instead, God became flesh (kenosis: the self-emptying of God) and moved directly into human suffering, skin, tears, and rejection [00:11:48].

  • The Application: In John 15, right before his execution, Jesus stays fully present with his disciples, washing even the feet of Judas and breaking bread with Peter [00:13:12]. Love isn’t proven by how safely we stay above life, but by how willingly we enter into it. Isolation might keep you from being hurt, but it will ultimately harden your heart [00:13:52].

Point 2: Love Gives Us Strength to Lose What We Cannot Keep

True love requires us to self-give rather than self-preserve [00:17:10]. Jesus commands his followers to bear fruit, and Pastor Troy points out that fruit is never for the tree itself—an apple tree doesn’t eat its own apples [00:17:28]. The fruits of the spirit (love, patience, peace, kindness) are meant to be given away to nourish others.

  • The Law of Surrender: In 25 years of ministry, Dr. Doucet notes a consistent truth: what we cling to tightly we often lose, but what we surrender to others in love will multiply [00:18:46].

  • The Application: To let your life and relationships flourish, you have to be willing to let go of things. This might mean laying down your pride so a marriage can heal, letting go of the need to be right so a friendship can survive, or surrendering your comfort for your children [00:19:38].

Point 3: The Value of Love is Measured by Depth, Not Duration

Humans naturally evaluate the worth of something based on how long it lasts, leading us to view temporary or cut-short experiences as tragic failures [00:20:49]. However, God measures value by depth. Temporary things, like a beautiful sunset, a favorite song, or a child’s fleeting childhood, are not trivial just because they don’t last forever [00:21:41].

  • The Reality of Grief: Pastor Troy shares a personal story about his son moving away from his mother, noting that the pain of saying goodbye wasn’t a sign of failure, but proof of deep love. Grief is simply the residual receipt that love was fully present [00:23:41].

  • The Application: Jesus’ earthly ministry only lasted a brief three years, yet its power altered human history because of its depth, not its length [00:25:53]. We are not responsible for whether others reciprocate our love; we are only responsible for our own intention and for initiating that love [00:26:33].

The Takeaway Conclusion Dr. Doucet closes with a moving story of an elderly man named Joe, who visited his wife in memory care every single day, even though her dementia prevented her from remembering his name [00:28:31]. Joe beautifully summarized the ultimate message of the sermon: “Love should never be measured by what you receive from it; it should be measured by what you refuse to hold back from it.” [00:29:50] Believers are challenged to “love first”, to pick up the phone, send the text, and show up fully without demanding a guarantee of safety [00:30:18].